Selfish Smokers

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “A packet of 20 Marlboro Lights, please.”

(I hand him the cigarettes.)

Customer: “Wait, I don’t want these ones.

Me: “Why? They’re Marlboro Lights. Did you change your mind?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want ones with this health warning about cigarettes causing impotency.”

Me: “Ok. Do you want ’smoking harms those around you,’ or ’smoking causes testicular cancer?’”

Customer: “Give me the ‘harms others’ ones.”

Wat mensen zeggen: ongevallenaangifte

Op ongevallenverzekeringsformulieren moet men een korte verklaring invullen over de wijze waarop het ongeval gebeurde. De combinatie van het instinct om de ander te beschuldigen en de kleine ruimtes leiden soms tot een merkwaardige formulering:
  • "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."
  • "The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."
  • "Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have."
  • "The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him."
  • "I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."
  • "In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

En nog meer vind je op: Things People Said: Car Accident Reports.